Tuesday 18th January 2011

Someone once said to me that if you never wanted to take a holiday you knew you had found your perfect job.

The man who said it to me was a ski instructor who spent the winter months around the Swiss / French borders teaching people to snow ski and the summer months in the South of France teaching water-skiing.
He claimed not to have had a holiday for eight years, but I don't suppose he needs one.
I mean, where would he go?
Would he go to Skegness? I don't think so. Why would he want to go to the seaside? He spends all summer at one, and I hate to sound detrimental to Skegness, but the South of France is slightly more favourable.
Would he go to the Lake District? Probably not, more water and some mountains, doesn't he see enough of these?
Anywhere in England is going to be not far from the sea, let's face it, you are never more than 72 miles from it wherever you are. Apparently a farm in Derbyshire has the honour of being able to say it is the furthest point in England from the sea.
What about a foreign holiday? But why? He spends all his working life in a foreign country, and gets paid for it.

So he has a fairly good job, but what if you can't ski? Let's face it, that would pretty much rule out that line of work for you. So what could you do for a perfect job where you never needed a holiday?

I suppose it all depends what you are into, what you like doing and what you wouldn't mind doing all the time.

Some people like cooking, but you wouldn't want to be a chef, too much like hard bloody work, all those long hours and hot sweaty kitchens. And washing up. Wouldn't be so bad if you were a poncy TV chef like lispy Oliver or wrinkly Ramsey. But that's only part time, surely?

You would have to get away every now and then.


A professional poker player? That aint hard work, it's part time and can pay well. You could play all over the place and, as most tournaments are held in the evenings then you see a bit of the world in the day time as well.
But if you didn't win much then you would have to get a part-time job to supplement your wages and then you would want a holiday.

An airline pilot? Fairly stressful I would think, and you may want to take a back seat once or twice which would constitute a holiday.

Holiday Rep. If you managed to get a good position with a decent company then this could be a perfect job.

You would spend all day and noght in a holiday resort. You would only have to organise stuff for people like day trips and stuff, it would be just like having an extended family to cater for, except you wouldn't have to cook as most people go to restaurants when they are on holiday.

So a holiday rep may qualify, but I think the ski instructor has it licked in the perfect job stakes.

Big Fat Gypsy Wedding is on the telly and the first thing that strikes me as I watch it is, haven't all gypsy women got fucking huge tits?
Is it genetic or do they all have implants?
They certainly don't seem to be short of a bob or two.............