Wednesday 5th January 2011

I put a 'view counter' on the page the other day, it's just there, on the right.
I thought it may be interesting to see if anyone reads this shit and I was quite surprised to see that over a thousand people had.

Then I decided to do a little experiment.

I posted the blog onto Twatter to see if that would generate any hits.
I then opened the blog to see what happened.
I stared at the view counter but it didn't change. Then I blinked and thought it may have changed, but I couldn't remember what number it was on so I couldn't be sure. So I stared without blinking.

Fortunately I was always pretty good at 'The Stare Game' when I was a kid. You know, the ever-so complicated game where you stare at another person without blinking until one of you blinks.
Whoever blinks first is the loser.
You probably know all about the Stare Game, but I thought I had better explain incase there were people out there who hadn't had the pleasures.

Anyhow, I digress, I stared and stared (without blinking) at the counter but did it move? Did it fuck.
So then I think to myself that maybe I have to refresh the page, so I start hitting the F5 button. Nothing, not a thing, nada.

Fuck me, I thought, someone somewhere must be so fucking bored that they want to read this shit. Maybe I have to close the page and re-open it for the counter to count properly.
So I close the page and I re-open the page and.......it moved.
It only went and fucking well moved.

So I tried again, and again, and again and slowly but surely it kept going up a notch, only one at a time, but that's better than nothing, right?
I thought this was great, all these people reading my blog, fantastic.
Then I started to think that if this many people are reading it, why is nobody commenting. I have even added a set of ratings boxes so you can record whether you think the posting is Funny, Interesting, Cool or Shit but no one was ticking these either.

Then it dawned on me.....

You prick Carew, you total and utter retarded half-witted prick.
I was the only bastard reader and it was my stupid self making the fucking counter go up.

So now I know, no one reads my crap and it's currently raining so I can't even be arsed to go outside and console myself with a cigarette.

Life's a bitch, aint it.............