Monday, 31 October 2011

Monday 31st October 2011

Too hot, this town is too hot. Now they're calling for their guns, about to spoil the rude boys' fun, but rude boys never give up their guns. It's too hot.

Didn't buy any Chinese Lanterns at the weekend, didn't have time really. Well, that's a lie, I had plenty of time but I just forgot. That's a lie too, I didn't forget, I just didn't think about it which is different all together. I bought some pumpkins but didn't do anything with them as in this case we really did run out of time.

I was in Tesco on Saturday evening, just doing the usual, going in there for a few bits and
pieces and ending up spending around fifty quid, but something I did get were some Staedtler triplus fineliner pens. These pens aren't the cheapest and I don't really any as I already have some but I bought them for one simple reason. A pack of ten, assorted colours, were £5.50, which is cheap enough as they are generally more than this, but a pack of twenty, which had the same colours plus ten other shades and were EXACTLY the same pens (except for the colours of the other ten of course), cost £2.75. Yup, that's right, twice as many pens for half the price. How the fuck does that work?

A bit later on my daughter pointed out another 'bargain'. Same shop. Forget what the item was, but it cost £1. The bargain was, and they had signs telling you all about this, just so you wouldn't miss it, was that you could buy one for £1 or two for £2. I fucking kid you not.

Liz was in Tesco once, not the same one, but the one near us. I say near us but it is about ten miles away. Anyhoo she was there, on her own, and she was buying, amongst other things, a pizza for our tea. They had a special offer on, buy one and get two free. Yup you didn't hear that wrong (and for 'hear' read 'read', comprende?) if you bought one pizza you can have two more bastards for nothing, nowt, zilch, nada.
However, and this is a big "but", however we do not have room in our freezer for two free pizzas but, not wanting to miss out on a bargain, she thought she would at least get something from this offer and get one free. At the checkout, the till receipt showed full price for both. So Liz queried this and the explanation was that they were full price as she only had two. Seems that they were giving away two free but would not let you only have one for nothing. She could have got a third and then been able to get her money back on one of the original ones she had paid for, but she would have to go and get another one, presumably to give away / throw away / gorge / whatever.

I saw an advert on the telly tonight for First Bus. I first thought about a friend of mine, someone I shall call Andy, as that is his name, who has this special love-love relationship with First Bus, but then I wondered what the point of the advert was.
Digressing ever-so-slightly, something I learned from Andy was that in Scotland you cannot fish on a First Bus bus. You cannot drink Buckfast on a First Bus bus (if you don't know what Buckfast is, Google it, lazy twat). And you're not allowed to take photographs on a First Bus bus either.
Not sure if those are just Scottish rules, but I have never seen them on an English bus, not that I go on buses much meslef, but then again I have never seen anyone fishing on a bus down here come to think of it. Plenty of pissed people, but probably not on Buckfast.
Anyways, getting back to the advert. As I was watching it, and noticing how well the woman driver was singing the song she was singing, I realised that many people across the length and breadth of the country would now be letting other bus brands go on by the bus stop as they waited for the First Bus bus.

I mean, come on, are people really going to watch the advert and say to themselves, or anyone else who is listening, fuck me I am going to get off my lardy arse and go and catch a bus. Not just any bus but a First Bus bus. That's if you can find one, they have probably cut the service to be able to pay for the poxy cheesy advert.

I wonder if my mate Andy has seen it, I'll have to ask him next time he ventures out of his cave.............

Saturday, 29 October 2011

Thursday, 27 October 2011



Squirrels, a set on Flickr.

Thursday 27th October 2011

The tequilla sun is rising and the Harvey's Bristol moon is sinking
Put the Binatone on snooze open up some Special Brews and start drinking
To the biggest mess in town then put on your dressing gown
Screw your head on upside down, drink yourself into the ground.

Got a new coffee machine today. It's not the one I really want, that's one that you put coffee beans in, press a button and it grinds and heats and presses and makes the perfect cup of coffee all in one go. That one is about £650 and I can't really justify that. Yet.

The one I got is one you have to put ground coffee in the thingy, attach thingy to the machine and then turn a switch. You know the thingy I'm on about right? The sort of thingy that coffee shops have, where you have to take it off after you have made the coffee and bang it on the side of a silver tray to get the used coffee out. I haven't got a silver tray to bang them into so I just use the bin. But I am getting a special milk jug and a thermometer to froth the milk.

Anyhoo, I got the the machine, unpacked it, washed the pipes through, as it told me to in the instructions, put coffee in, filled it with water, made an espresso and also made myslef a little bit moist.

It was a good coffee.
I'm going to get a coffee grinder too, so I can buy coffee beans and grind them as and when I want them, but have you seen the price of the fucking things?!?
There are two types of grinder, one that uses blades and one that uses burrs.
There are two types of burr type grinders, wheel and conical.

The blade ones are cheap. And this means they are crap.
The wheel burr machines range from about £15 to a couple of hundred, which I thought was a bit steep for a bean grinder.
The conical burr grinders, however, can set you back £1300. Thirteen fucking hundred bastard of yer English pounds for a little machine that grinds up little beans to make little cups of coffee.

I'll be getting the cheaper end wheel burr machine then.

Went to Essex today, to see my sons. The weather was pants, absolute shite.
We still had fun though. I cannot believe that son #2, who is six years old, can eat a Big Mac. Well I can, cause I saw him do it, well most of it. It wasn't long ago that he would take the burger out of a plain burger and just eat the bun. He wouldn't eat a plain bun, oh no, it had to have had a cooked burger in it that he could take out. And now he is eating Big Macs.

I did think afterwards, could I be done for child abuse for letting a six year old eat a Big Mac.
Or even a MacDonalds, for that matter. That's bad enough.
If you don't tell Social, I won't.

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Wednesday 26th October 2011

Come on down and do what you've got to do, you've started this fire down in my soul, now can't you see it's burning out of control.

I was thinking about buying some of those Chinese Lanterns to light this weekend as I am seeing my daughters and I thought they might enjoy doing them. I am pretty sure that where I will be at the weekend is not in the flightpath of any airport in the South West (or any other part of the country for that matter) so we wouldn't kill any planes.
But then I heard a story about how dangerous these lanterns are for Barn Owls.
Apparently these things kill many Barn Owls every year, and the more lanterns that are shipped into the sky the more Owls are dying.

I actually missed the bit of the story that revealed the cause of the deaths, so quite how the Owls are dying is not very clear, at least not to myslef, but I think it has something to do with the flammable material that (a) the lanterns themselves are made from and (b) the flammable material that Owl's wings are made from.

Apparently, when an owl sees a Chinese Lantern it is immediately attracted to the
flickering candle in order to use the naked flame to light a cigarette. Obviously, with no (or very few) pockets, owls are unable to carry many matches and most cigarette lighters are now banned from the airways, so these lanterns can be a godsend, if care is taken.
However, it transpires that not many owls are all that careful when it comes to personal safety and that, coupled with the cross winds encountered in the skies, means that more and more of the Tyto albas are falling foul of a fiery death.

So I didn't get any, although I may do before the weekend and just put up some notices warning the owls, and any other birds, not to smoke for a couple of days.

This isn't the first time I have mentioned Chinese Lanterns.
The first time was on Friday 31st December 2010. Yup, the last day of last year.
And do you know what else I talked about that day?!? No?!?
Well get the fuck back there and have a look.

I wonder when it will be this year? No not you getting the fuck back to 31st December 2010 like Michael J Fox in "Back to the Future" but that thing I was talking about on 31st December 2010.
Probably not before the 31st, definitely not before 25th, but can you imagine if they did?
There would be outroar, or an uprage or something.
For those of you who are too bone idle, too lazy, and don't know what I am talking about: tough shit. You'll have to look.
Some people will be able to remember without looking, of course. I bet me stalker does.

Anyhoo, I've been a bit remiss lately, not written as much as I could have.
I really must write more, even if it is just to stop that Grizzly Bear man ( from overtaking me in the number of entries written.
If you haven't seen it, take a look. But as I always say, don't forget to come back. Don't be seduced by the quality of it, it may appear better on face value but it aint as good as this one, not really. It is probably more interesting and all that, but this one is still better.
On second thoughts, don't go there, forget I posted the link (not that I can get the link to work on this thing anyways, so neh neh) and stick with me.

I am staying in the 'County Hotel' in Woodford tonight and it is a bit strange.

I haven't seen an English person working here yet, which isn't particularly strange and they are nice enough, but I nearly had a tricky situation.
I had pre-booked and when I arrived the woman at reception took my Visa card and I didn't really think anything of it. But when I came to get something to eat and drink I was told that I couldn't charge it to my room as I had already paid for it (the room). As I didn't have any cash, seeing as I left home at 0400hrs this morning and have been on a construction site all day, I asked if there was a cashpoint in the hotel.
So I asked if they could give me cash-back.
So I asked them how I could pay for my drink.
I could pay by card, they told me, but there was a minimum spend of £5 for card transactions.
I said that I wanted to order some food and would want another drink later on so could I start a tab?
I was told I could start a tab but I would have to pay for the drink as it had already been rung up in the till. SO I had to order my food immediately in order to get the value to above £5 and then start a tab after that.

Whilst perusing the menu I noticed that they serve pizza here.
I don't fancy the last vegetarian option on the list mind you..............

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Monday, 17 October 2011

Monday 17th October 2011

Have you ever watched those old American cop shows, the ones where the lead character is verging on being a down-and-out, a bit dishevelled and unkempt?
In these shows, the Detective (or whatever) always seems to whip out his electric shaver and have a crafty shave in the car. So unorganised are they that they are always running late and can't afford the time to shave at home. Either that or they can't be arsed.
Well I started with my 'Winter Look' today. That is, I haven't shaved since Thursday of last week and this morning I got out the trimmer. I do it every year, it helps keep me little cheeks warm during the cold weather.

But the fucking mess! When I had finished I looked down and the sink was covered in small hairs. They were everywhere, in the sink, the sides of the sink, the back of the sink, the floor, everywhere.

What the fuckety fuck Columbo's car must have looked like, Gawd only knows, but it wouldn't have been pretty.

Why do some people have dslrs?

Click on the link above and read the thread then tell me what you think.

Why do some people buy expensive dslrs?
This guy obviously does not have a clue, a fact he readily admits when he says "prob is i am still at point and shoot stage... is there an easier way? will a lense do it for me?" when talking about adjusting the aperture.

Fuck me, the other posters are virtually spelling it out for him, but he just don't get it.
Why,then, would you spend all that money on a camera that you have absolutely no idea on how to use?

I started taking photographs in July of this year. I didn't really have a clue and was a bit dubious about spending £200 on a HS10, but I did as I hoped I would get good photos and use it to get better. Hopefully I will progress onto a better camera once my photography gets better.
For the first two months every photo I took was on the fully automatic setting but I gradually weaned myself off and now the vast majority of shots are on the manual setting.

But why oh why spend hundreds of pounds on a camera body, hundreds more on lenses and other accessories, when you don't even understand the concept of aperture settings?!?

Another thing that annoys me are these people who have dslrs and take about eight million shots everytime they put the camera to their eye.
I was at an RSPB place on Saturday and in one of the hides was a poncy git with a big camera and a lens about twenty foot long.

I was there, crafting my skills, manually adjusting my camera, composing the shot and taking two or three shots of a subject. As we were in a bird watching hide I had turned the volume of the shutter off so as not to disturb or annoy anyone else.
But here was this prick with his fancy big camera and penis substitute and every couple of minutes he would raise it to his face and rattle off about twenty shots in the space of about three seconds.
I bet he might get one half decent picture from every twenty he took, but it will be more luck than judgement and where's the fun in that?!?

Now, this may sound like jealousy, and maybe a little of it is, but I can't stand pretensious people.

Sorry for the rant, but I've not written anything for a long time.

Anyhoo, sorry it's been so long. Bet you've all fucked off over to that Grizzly bastard's blog.
Got to admit, it is better.............