Sunday, 23 January 2011

Sunday 23rd January 2011

Ever wondered why you have to cut your fingernails more often than your toenails?
Because fingernails grow four times faster.
But why? Why should fingernails grow fourtimes faster? Is it because your toenails are generally covered and therefore do not see that much daylight? is it because they are a little thicker and so have to work harder to grow, or is it merely because not so many people see them so they just can't bothered to grow.

But, fuck me, can you imagine having toenails like these? (the ones in the picture dummy) What was she thinking of? If it is a she, that is. Why would you want to do THAT. I mean, it's not all that, is it. Not attractive. I aint gonna see that on someones feet and think to myself, "she's got interesting feet, I think I'll try and get to know her a little better." Oh no, I'm a-thinking "holy shit, here comes a freak, run away."

Another fact is that dolphins sleep with one eye open. It's funny, but I never really thought about dolphins sleeping at all. The obvious thought is that they keep the open eye open to look out for predators. But if they are asleep, does their vision still function or is it meant to trick predators into thinking that they can be seen so they don't bother trying to attack? Or do they keep one eye open due to the fact that if they shut it they would drown? Don't laugh, how do you know this is not true, have you ever seen a dolphin with both eyes shut? No cause they don't do it, do they? So it could be true.

It is said that Reindeer like bananas. How did anyone ever find that out?
It's not as if bananas are in an abundance in native Reindeer territory is it? You don't get many banana trees in the Artic and Subartic do you? Maybe a Reindeer inadvertently wandered into the local Tesco Express and nicked one off the shelf. After all, you can get bananas all year round in any part of the world these days, thanks to the convenience of global supermarkets.
But this could be good news for millions of parents the world over. How many of you have tried to bite the end off a carrot on Christmas Eve, late at night after a skinfull, just to try to convince the little-uns that the reindeer have visited. Well spread the word that Reindeer love bananas and no more raw carrot for you, feast on the softness of a nice banana instead, much easier to swallow when pissed.

Have you ever wondered why British postage stamps do not have the name of the country of origin on them (I mean that they do not state they are British stamps), but all other countries do? If you know, post the answer in the comment box at the bottom. If I remember I may post the answer at some point, but then again I'll probably forget.

Talking of dolphins sleeping with one eye open, apparently ants never sleep. Never. Not even 40 winks.
Or do they?
How do we know that they don't sleep with both eyes open. They may even carry on with their usual daily routine, asleep. We can't really ask them for an answer can we? And if they are asleep, but with both eyes open and carrying on with ther daily routine, is it really counted as sleeping?

The earth is reputedly approx. 6,588,000,000,000,000,000 tons in weight. How do we know? Can we prove it? What sort of shop would sell a set of scales big enough to weigh it? Not even Tesco would do one of them.
And if God is omnipotent, could he make a rock so big that not even he could lift it? If so; how? And if not; why not? It's a bit of a conundrum.

Pepsi originally contained pepsin, thus the name.
Louis IV of France had a stomach the size of two regular stomachs.
The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.

I'm not sure about that last one.
It they haven't got kneecaps then they obviously don't need them as you don't see the majority of kids with no kneecaps going to the hospital every five minutes to get their kees repaired do you? Well I have never seen one, and I have four children so statistically I would have seen at least one. Wouldn't I.
So why do we get them when we reach 2 to 6 years old?
Are we more prone to accidents of the knee at these age range?
And how does the body know when to grow them, do the legs have minds of their own which knows that we are about to start falling over more and injure our knees? Maybe Professor Norton Folgate knows the answer, I'll have to ask him next time we are speaking.


  1. The first postage stamps, those of the United Kingdom, had no name. In 1874 the Universal Postal Union exempted Great Britain from its rule which stated that a county's name had to appear on their postage stamps, so a profile of the reigning monarch was all that was required for identification of Britain's stamps. To this day the UK remains the only country not required to name itself on its stamps

  2. Well that's sort of killed that little quiz doesn't it.

    Well done Mr Cattle, you are completely correct, although I don't know why I'm telling you this as you already know.............