Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Wednesday 19th January 2011

Hump Day.

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.
My Big Fucking Fat Fucking Gypsy Fucking Wedding.
Well, what can I say? It was a bit of an eye-opener to say the least.
In case you missed it, it was a programme about Gypsies and their weddings, as the title suggests. It turns out that most gypsy girls have huge tits and are expected to get married when they reach the ripe old age of around 16 or 17 years of age.
They dress in extremely skimpy clothes, but suprisingly have very high moral standards instilled into them from an early age.
They are not allowed to go out alone but must be in groups, if they are dating they have to be chaperoned and there is no sex before marriage.
The boys, on the other hand, have a thing called 'grabbing' whereby it is common acceptable practice for a boy to literally grab a girl and virtually force her to kiss him.
I think it was something to do with ascertaining if they were compatible.

I washed my car last weekend. Well that's a bit of a lie, I didn't wash it, the big machine at Tesco did it for me. I wasn't going to bother, as I knew it would get dirty as soon as I drove out of the carwash, but it had got to the stage where I was finding it difficult to see out of the windows, especially in the mornings when the sun is low. When I the machine had finished, I thought that it had done a pretty crap job on the windscreen as I still couldn't see very well out of it, everything looked a bit foggy. It wasn't till I got home that I realised that the inside of the screen was probably dirtier than the outside.

Maybe I shouldn't smoke so much.

Or maybe I shouldn't drive so much.

I wonder which one is more harmful to my health. Which would have higher odds of death; smoking 100 cigarettes (and the rest!!) a week or driving 1000 miles a week. I'll have to investigate that and report back, maybe sometime when I'm bored.
The car is dirty again, by the way, it got dirty on the Sunday.

Nearly a fight at the bingo tonight. One of the old ladies (Barbara) accused another one (Dot) of hiding her zimmer frame and said she wouldn't be able to get back to her room without it, then got upset when Dot laughed at her about it and then got the hump when it was pointed out to her that the zimmer frame that she claimed wasn't hers actually was, and it had her name on it to prove it.
Bless her, she then forgot if she had her reading glasses on or her 'going out' glasses and we had to suspend the game of bingo until she could be convinced that the ones that she had been wearing all night were her reading glasses and that they were the ones that she should be wearing.
My mate Ida won three prizes, two of them chocolate, so all was good in the end.

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