Unpaid work, 200 hours of it.
And it all starts next Wednesday at five o'clock.
I had an appointment today with the probation service to find out what my punishment will be for the next gawd knows how long.
I shall be wading in the River Don removing old pieces of lead weight that irresponsible fishermen have left behind.
Should quite enjoy it to be honest, I might save up all the bits of lead, smelt it down into a club and beat the lazy fucking twat fishermen around the bastard ear with it if I ever see them dropping more.
Only joking, of course (especially if anyone from the probation office is reading), but you gotta feel sorry for the swans haven't you?
And the ducks, mustn't forget the ducks.
Did you know the longest flight ever made by a chicken was nine seconds.
I wonder if it was just falling?
I used to have a mate called Swanny.
Not his real name of course, that would be fucking stupid, but he had a very long neck and he used to read your newspaper over your shoulder.
Wonder what he's doing now?
Driving buses or something I wouldn't doubt.....