When I was at junior school we used to have free milk every morning.
For some reason though the school didn't keep it in a fridge so by the time we were given it, it was warm.
Either that or they kept it in the fridge but then warmed it up in a microwave oven before giving it to us.
That's highly unlikely though as microwave ovens weren't invented when I was at junior school.
I put my irrational fear and hatred of cows down to this period of my life and I am actually thinking of suing the head teacher who allowed this to happen.
For years I have yearned to love all things bovine but the memories come flooding back all too quickly and the cold sweats are soon to follow.
Trouble is, I can't for the life of me remember the name of the teacher in question.
Must be all the stress.
I blame my lack of swimming expertise on the school too.
This time it's secondary school, not junior school.
We had an outdoor pool, there were icebergs on it, even in summer.
I'm sure there was a shipwreck at the bottom of the deep end too.
Didn't learn to swim until I was 24.
In the days before freezers only the very rich could experience ice.
Rich people had ice houses, and I don't mean houses that were made of ice, I mean houses where ice was stored and the door faced north and was insulated with straw.
But where did the ice come from?
To harvest it from English lakes would only have been possible very rarely so it must have been imported from somewhere really cold.
Like Siberia or somewhere.
But how did the ice importers get it here?
They couldn't really stick it in the fridge, could they?
They must have started with a huge great big massive chunk of ice and arrived with a much much smaller piece.
I'm surprised their boat didn't sink too, all that water, would've been like a flood.
And then it would need to be transported via horse and cart, or donkey, to your house.
Maybe that's how ice cubes were invented.
Start with a fuck off big piece and end up with an ice cube.
No wonder it was only for the rich.............