Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Tuesday 19th April 2011

Oh My Gawd.............

Up at three this morning, left home at about a quarter to four and made it to Glasgow for around eight o'clock. At least I made it, which is more than can be said for the bird thing that tried to cross the A66 as I was driving along it at 80mph. All that's left of that little fucker are a few feathers wedged in the gap between my bonnet and the grill and a nasty looking stain on my number plate. I have to say, it didn't half smell for a bit until it cooked itself off. Could do with a bit of a clean now.

The sun has been out today, happy days, a full moon last night and a full day of sun today. Makes the day a tad more bearable.

I can't believe I am led here, in a cheap hotel room in Kirkintilloch Scotland, watching a load of fucking vacuum cleaners try to clean a rug. What a freaking jetset lifestyle I live.

Got back to the hotel tonight and I was waiting for a car to pass so I could pull into a parking space when the bastard took it himself. There was plenty of room to park nearby so I wasn't bothered and just park somewhere else.
But as I got out of the car I heard a hideous hissing sound and then watched my front tyre deflate. If that wasn't bad enough, seeing how I have been up since three this morning, I undid the nuts, jacked the car up and tried to change the wheel. 'Tried' being the operative word. Do you think the thing would come off? Would it fuck as like. I have now spent about half an hour kicking it, beating it, twatting it and even willing it to come off, but the fucking thing is still on there.
Looks like it is a call to the garage tomorrow morning then, oh well at least I'll have time for breakfast.

I don't fucking like breakfast, but I'll have time for it tomorrow. Deep joy.

Just seen an advert for the iphone 4 and the tag line was "If you don't have an iphone, well, you don't have an iphone." No shit Sherlock, I wonder how much the advertising agency got paid to come up with that shite tripe?
And then there was an advert for Vodka. I used to enjoy a vodka or two, but that's a story for another day. It'll be a year next week since I last had any alcohol, but that's a story for another day too.

To top it all off, I've just had a piss and caught me bollocks in me zip.
It really aint my fucking day. I'm going to bed.............

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