Sunday 10th April 2011

I have a snoring dog, I think she may have sinus issues. She snores even when she is

awake, more like heavy breathing really, which it probably is of course, but it is like she is constantly snoring. Maybe she is permanently asleep, she is a bit lazy, but maybe she just sleeps all the time and she isn't heavy breathing but actually snoring and also sleepwalking. And sleepeating. And sleeprunning. She even barks in her sleep. She never used to bark, but maybe that was when she was awake. Before she fell asleep.

We had a guest this weekend. Liz's brother. Came all the way from Bristol to go and watch some shit team get beaten by Barnsley. Whilst they were at football I made some chilli poppers. Chilli poppers, for those of you not in the know, are chillies, stuffed with a cream cheese (with extra cheese, pepper and anything else you want really) mix, coated in breadcrumbs (or batter, if that floats your boat (or even neither of the aforementioned) and deep fried (or oven baked). As you can see from all the brackets, the combinations and varieties are endless, you can pretty well do as you like with them, but chillies and cream cheese are a must.
Anyhoo, I used Bird Eye and Scotch Bonnet chillies. Took the seeds out, so they wouldn't be too hot, mixed up some cream cheese, grated cheddar cheese, pepper and paprika. stuffed the chillis with the mix, dipped in egg and then breadcrumbs and deep fried. Absofuckinglutely gorgeous.
When the two of them came back, I offered them some. Didn't actually tell them what they were, I must have forgotten, but there were only Scotch Bonnets left. Liz thought they were too hot, and admitted later that she thought she was gonna be sick and that she thought someone had held a cigarette lighter under her tongue but her brother was a different kettle of fish altogether.
His head turned a bright red and he wanted water. He was flapping around like a proverbial goldfish who's plastic bag has just split on the way home from the funfair. I gave him a glass of milk, but he drank about five gallons of water. He was quiet for while, should have given him some more. I ate a packet of Scotch Bonnets and a pack of Bird Eyes.

I made some more today, and some chilli bombs. I made up the chilli bombs myslef, but they have probably been done before. I used the same cream cheese mix, but added a load of chopped up (deseeded) Scotch Bonnets. Chilled for a while, rolled up into little balls and then 'breadcrumbed' and deep fried. The chilli poppers I made were with Pimento peppers. A bit milder for Liz. They were nice though. The bombs were the fucking bomb though, they really were good. The trick is to dip them in egg, dip them in breadcrumbs and then repeat before frying. Stops the cheese mix seeping out. No one likes seepage. Do they???

Cut the back garden this afternoon. Fuck me that was hard work. It was the first cut of

the year and I had to cut it twice, three times in some places, where it was so long. It took about four hours to complete and now it just looks like it needs cutting, as opposed to looking like it has been abandoned for about twenty four years. Fuck knows when I will cut it again, but at least I have done that first cut now. My hands have blisters mind you, I obviously spend too much time driving my desk and washing up and shit and not enough time doing proper work, but life's a bitch.

A bloke up the road sells sacks of potatoes by the side of the road. Well he doesn't, he sells them by the sackload, but you know what I mean. He has a sign that reads 'Potatoe for sale'. Either he has spelled 'Potatoes' wrong or he has spelled 'Potato' wrong. Either way he had spelled it wrong. Or incorrectly.

Had a bit of salad for tea. That, and a smoked mackerel fillet. I also had some potato salad. The best before date for the potato salad was 9th April but I ate it anyway.