Saturday, 23 April 2011

Saturday 23rd April 2011

Four seasons in one day.

Gawd there is some crud on the tele, there is a programme on about dancing and they haven't just got dancers on there, they have 'Contortion breakdancers' and 'Hiphop Beat dancers' (or something) and other such nonsense.

I went to Sheffield today. Liz was going to the football so we drove to Meadowhell and caught the tram into town. Well, when I say we caught the tram into town, we caught it halfway there and then had to transfer to a bus as there was maintenance works on the tram line.
Went for a drink in a pub opposite the Crucible, which was a blinder of an idea as the snooker was on, as well as Man U on the tele, so it was fairly packed. Couple of J2Os and Liz went off to the footy and I went for a wander. As it was a hot day, I bought a bottle of water. I tell you this, as the J2O and the water made me want to pee as I was on the bus / tram combination on the way back to Meadowhell.

Meadowhell was surprisingly quiet for the time of year, but when I got back my first stop was the toilet. They have those Dyson Airblade hand driers in there, you know, the ones that dry your hands in ten seconds like a windscreen wiper or something. Then I had a bit of a wander and, starting to get bored, went for a coffee.

Obviously, more liquid meant I had to go pee again, but this time I went into a different loo. I noticed, though, that the layout of this loo was exactly the same as the first one I went into. Hell, I even stood at the same urinal as the last time. Well not the same one, obviously, but the one in the same position.

This got me thinking, are ALL the toilets in Meadowhell the same? I thought I had better do a bit of investigating. It would be a bit odd, however, if I just went into the toilets and had a look around, so I bought another bottle of water and drank away, whilst wandering aimlessly around.

As the sun was out, and the temperature was hot, there was plenty of skin on show. Not all good skin, I hasten to add. There are some very beautiful people in this world. Unfortunately in Sheffield there are also some extremely ugly munters as well.
And why do some people, especially older women, think body piercings are sexy. Or even make you look slightly more appealing. I would say to all you older women out there, in nine times out of ten THEY FUCKING DON'T!!!! They make you look like an elderly fucking chav.

Trouble was, I was wandering so aimlessly that when I needed to pee again, i didn't know where the nearest loo was that I hadn't been to already. But eventually I found one, up some stairs [which is something you don't need when you are busting] so up I went. And guess what? The layout was exactly the same. And I even got to go in the same stone. I now think of that stone as my own, I may even look at getting a plaque.

I then got bored of the 'Gents' investigation so I stopped drinking water and just had another little wander. Then I got bored of that too, so I went and sat in the car and waited for Liz.

Bugger me we had some weather today, eh? It started off nice and sunny, went a bit overcast, thunder and lightening, fucked it down with rain and then went all hot again.

Oh and there was the smog, don't forget the smog.............

1 comment:

  1. birb

    I've been investigating urinals for years. I came to the conclusion that only the different varieties of chewing gum warranted further investigation.

    So I went for another pint and forgot all about it.