Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Tuesday 8th February 2011

Fourteen Hours.............

I was violated today. In a mildly sexual manner. By an old woman who kissed my head and rubbed my back whilst muttering nonsense at me. It was quite horrible, quite scary and quite wrong. It wouldn't have been so bad if she had cleaned her teeth in the last six months and she wasn't wearing that 'special' perfume that smells of amonia.
Well it would, it would have been just as bad to be honest, it was like a paedophile in an elevator, wrong on every level.

Big Fat Gypsies was on again, fuck me they are savage bastards. Two of them had a fight to settle an arguement and I don't think they could even remember what the dispute was, but they knocked six bales of shit out of each other. Well they didn't actually, one of them knocked six bales of shit out of the other and then threatened to set 'a couple of the boys' onto the camera team if they 'didn't get out of my face'.

I was working on a Word document today and when it was finished it was 26MB. I wanted to email it to someone, but didn't want to send them a copy they could change so I converted it to a pdf. Fuck me if it didn't take half the day to convert, nearly crashed my laptop, and the last time my computer went down on me it was, whilst enjoyable, murder to re-start. Anyhoo, it eventually converted but when it did it had suddenly grown to 93MB. Now I thought pdfs were generally smaller than the original document so how did this fucker grow so big? And who said that size doesn't matter? It fecking well does in this case, have you ever tried sending a 93MB email? No, neither have I cause the bastard laptop would probably blow up.

I was in the library the other day when a bloke came in and asked if they had any books on suicide. Now I thought the librarian would come across all sympathetic and caring and try and talk to the man, who looked obviously depressed and willing to end it all for a better life on the other side of the Pearly Gates, but no, she told him to fuck off as he would never bring it back.

She was probably right though.............

1 comment:

  1. birb

    Somebody once told me that they were contemplating suicide. I asked them politely not to make it messy or cause too much disruption.

    Excellent blog. Skoob the pikey.