Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Wednesday 27th July 2011

I always flirt with death, I look ill but I don't care about it.

I think today is 'Flying Ant Day'. There is always a day in the year, isn't there, when all the flying ants in all the World decide to fly out of their scabby nest and shag each other. Always at the same time too. All over me facking kitchen they were this afternoon, next to the boiler. Must be the heat I suppose.
It's all to do with temperature, humidity and windspeed and time of year, you know. And after the queen gets suitably shagged they fall to the floor and their wings fall off. Then the male dies. Which is good, cause I fucking hate ants.

I was watching that programme about the British weather and they reckoned that the big supermarkets use the weather to work out what stock to shove on the shelves. When it rains no one buys Lettuce, but when it warms up then everyone wants BBQ stuff. Allegedly it has to be 24 degrees in London for this to happen but only 20 degrees in Scotland.

Anyhoo, they didn't predict fucking National fucking Flying fucking Ant day, did they cause they had run out of ant killer when I went in there earlier this afternoon to get some. Bastards.

Reading again tomorrow. Hope I see more Red Kites as I am taking me camera this time and will have to stop to take some photos. And no Liz, I don't mean the diamond shape things that small children and mad extreme sportsmen fly.............


  1. Ant Killer is availanble at a major DIY store (B&Q) in the same that you would buy the plant food and gardening equipment. I found that very interesting as I am plaqued with flying ants every year, quickly followed by the dance of death which normally involves ME stamping on them till they are all DEAD. That is followed up by a large burst of fly killer. I never knew their wings fell off and they died after mating. As I said that was interesting.

  2. I've had this problem. I just chase the little bastards around with a rolled up newspaper and club the fuckers to death. But you can also have a lot of fun with them. Apparently I'm quite an authority, according to The Spoof website.

    Martin Shuttlecock.