Wednesday 20th July 2011

Where have you been...?

Is it good form to overtake a fire engine?
I was driving along the motorway the other day when a fire engine pulled onto it from a sliproad ahead of me. Well these things may have blue flashing lights and loud sirens but they don't drive very fast. So there I was in a bit of a dilemma. A quandary, you may say. Should I stay behind it and reduce my speed, probably be late for wherever it was I was going, or should I overtake it and run the risk of committing a a grave faux pas?

So I thought 'fuck it, fuck the possible faux pas' and overtook it.
No one shouted at me and I didn't even feel like anyone stared. Not in a bad way anyhoo.

Now hearses, that's a different matter. Isn't it?
I overtook one once, in Bristol. I'm sure someone beeped their horn at me in disgust, don't know who it was, but wouldn't it have been ironic if it were the hearse.
But, fuck me lengthways, don't they drive slowly? No wonder everyone in them is late!! (do ya see what I did there?!?)

I can't actually remember if I have written about overtaking the fire engine before, so if I have, and if you actually read it, then I apologise. If you haven't read it before it must be for two reasons. Either I haven't writ it or you haven't bothered yer arse reading all of the previous posts. If it's the latter, then I don't apologise and you can go and.............

I went Gorilla spotting in Bristol on Saturday. Saw a fair few, but not all of them. There are about 50 of them around the city but they are not causing havoc or owt. They are reasonably well behaved really.
Someone's been setting fire to them though. Pricks. Why would you do that?
Some will say, "it's because they have nothing else to do, they are bored", but the people that say that are just fuckwits. In my opinion, they are nearly as bad as the people they are condoning.

I was brought up in England's smallest city. There was absolutely fuck all to do, but I didn't go around setting fire to Gorillas. I wouldn't have dreamt of it.
I may have got drunk alot and done some other slightly naughty things but I would never have set fire to even one Gorilla, let alone three.

Mind you, there weren't any Gorillas around at the time. Not in Wells, not in the late seventies/early eighties anyhow.
Don't think there are now either, or if there are they must hide every time I go back there.

If any of you see any where you are, let me know. Send me a photograph to seatoncarew1@gmail.com and I'll post them on here.

No prizes or fuck all, just the dubious honour of having a photo of a Gorilla posted on the best(?) blog on t'interweb.............