Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Tuesday 7th June 2011

Bada boom, bada bing.............

Funny thing, I went to a well known and leading supermarket this evening (Tesco), the sun was shining and the sky was blue, but when I was in there I heard a noise like someone throwing stones at a window. Most people were looking up at the roof, me included, and it turned out it was rain. It was absolutely chucking it down, real proper storming. By the time I had bought me bits and bats it had stopped. As if it had never rained (well, except the ground was wet) and the sun was back out.

Well I booked me holipops today, eleven nights in Egypt in a five star complex, all inclusive with private transfers to and from the airport and everything. Even got a free upgrade to a suite too, so we can really live it up. Happy, happy fucking days. Wouldn't mind learning how to dive whilst I'm over there, but I might settle for a Camel ride. Must remember the hand gel though, cause I've heard they have dirty money over there. Not dodgy or anything, but plain skanky.

I read a review on t'interweb where someone was moaning that they had to tip everyone to get any decent service in the resort, even down to the room cleaners in order to have the room cleaned properly. Now stop me if I am wrong, but in this country we have something called the 'minimum wage' so everyone gets a half decent wage. Over there they probably don't. The room cleaners probably get paid about 27p a week to clean about 400 rooms everyday. Probably.

Now, the going rate for tipping Egyptian bedroom cleaners is 10EP per day. That's 10 Egyptian Pounds. 10EP equates to approximately £1. One of your English pounds. I'm going on holiday for ten days and eleven nights. That's ten quid in total. I'm sure I can manage that and it's probably about a years wages for the poor sap doing the hard work. Let's face it, if I can afford £**** to go on holiday for less than two weeks then an extra tenner aint gonna hurt anyone.

Did you know, or maybe realise, that 'Walk Like an Egyptian' by The Bangles was a hit in
That's 25 years ago!! What was the name of the singer with the sexy voice? You know, the one that sings about the cops in the donut shop? Susanna Hoffs, that's what it was. Still is in actual fact. She's 59 now, but she doesn't look bad for it. I used to quite fancy her. Looking at the picture on the left, I would say that I probably still do, but the Mrs will probably read this at some point so I'd better keep schtum.

Collected the latest additions to the collection today, The Seven Deadly Sins. Seven bottles of sinful chilli sauce. They aint too hot, but by fuck they taste good. Well the ones I have tasted today do anyhoo. No doubt they won't last that long, but hey I'll have to buy more won't I?
Gotta say thanks to me old chilli mate Ben for ordering. I say he's my mate, but after seeing his 'new' car today I think I may have to revise my opinion of him. What bloke, in their right mind would buy a green Vauxhall Tigra. And if that weren't friggin bad enough, who would put a little toy monkey cuddly toy thing on the dashboard and impale a foamy head thing on the aerial?

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

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