Tuesday 14th June 2011

Someone once said "Lasagne, the World's most perfect food."

Another warm one today, the sun was out the sky was blue, and I was stuck in my office. I would have said it was a hot, but did I tell you I was going to Egypt soon? It's fuck off hot there.

I have been thinking about a new tattoo for a while now, and I was sitting at my desk the other day when my eyes rested on a wooden box I have sitting just by the base of my monitor. It is a box that my Dad bought in Jerusalem when he went there with me mum on their honeymoon and he gave it to my Grandma. I got it when she died and I think it may be made out of wood from a tree that Jesus once touched. Or at least walked by.

At this juncture, I must just add that I am half way through a pizza. But more of that later.

Anyhoo, back to the box. The box has a pattern of crosses on the lid. A large cross in the middle with a smaller cross in each quarter. So I used this and adapted it into my own design. At least I thought it was my own design as I was sitting there drawing it. I was quite pleased with it but thought it lacked something.
So I went to a tattooist for some advice. The tattooist thought that it needed filling with something as I had just done the outline. I am in two minds as to whether I should leave them as outlines or not but I thought I would not rush into anything. When I got home a started to modify. I sort of 3D'd the centre cross and I was reasonably pleased with the result but it looked somewhat familiar.

For a long while I couldn't put my finger on it. Couldn't think why it looked familiar. I racked my brain, but it didn't come to me. So I went for a smoke and, fuck me sideways it fell on me like an anvil in an old cartoon.

Needless to say, I aint getting it done now. I like smoking, but not that much.

I thought I would try my hand at a bit of proper journalism the other day. I thought I would do a survey, a proper one, one that people would find interesting. So I googled 'things people think of'. It brought up 'About 1,730,000,000 results' in '(0.14 seconds)'. All of them were crap so I decided to to a survey on the number of Men's sexual partners. Next question was "where to start?". I chose Wales, and there was my biggest mistake. You see, in England's biggest county it's very difficult to get a true picture.
I asked about twenty men to count the number of sexual partners they had had, and every last one of them fell asleep whilst doing so.

I'm on the ice cream now. And, by the way, it was Garfield. Not the cricketer but the fat cat.

I have a funny story to tell, not my own but one that was sent to me. Supposedly true (I have now reason to think why it wouldn't be) but I'll have to tell you tomorrow.............