Thursday, 26 May 2011

Thursday 26th May 2011

Rod died a penniless puppeteer.

I have just seen a sign that said 'Check your mirrors for bikes' and being the conscientious driver that I am I thought I had better do it straight away. I was travelling south on the M74 at the time so I pulled over to the hard shoulder, put on my emergency flashing light thingies and got out of the car.
My first mistake was to forget the basic rule of looking in my side mirror and I nearly got sucked in, blown over, run over and mangled by an articulated lorry that was hurtling along in the inside lane.
However, I walked around the car and checked both mirrors carefully. I then remembered the rear-view mirror inside the car, so I thought I had better check that too. I did, however, check that there were no lorries looking to run me down and when there was safe passage I got back in the car and checked the inside mirror.
There were no bikes in, or around, any of the mirrors and I did wonder where they were supposed to hide. I mean, there aint a lot of room inside the mirror casing and if they were on the outside they would more than likely blow off even at the legal speed limit of 70mph.

So a bit of a strange sign really, I'll probably ignore it if I ever see it again.
As I pulled back onto the motorway a fucking idiot on a Triumph screamed past and I was lucky not to hit him. Or at least he was lucky as I was surrounded by metal.

I am just about to go across the A66 so I will keep a look out for the camel. If I see that ugly horse again I'll shout a joke at him to try and cheer him up. Maybe then he won't have the hump and everyone will stop mistaking him for the mysterious ungulate.
I'll also have to watch out for horse drawn carriages too. A sign told me so.

If I see the camel, I'll tell you about it later, if I'm not too tired.............


  1. My son wants to know if there is really a camel on the A66. He is only 11 so please make it clean. Your secret stalker. Yes I used to work with you! Remember me. Fat bitch that used to sit on near the exit till they got fed up and pushed me out the door. :-)

  2. Dear Secret Stalker,
    I don't remember working with a fat bitch, well not one who used to sit by the exit. Give me another clue!!!
    Apparently there is a Camel in a field next to the A66, I know someone who claims to have seen it, but I have only ever spotted Llamas (two fields of them).............