I went to prison today.
Not to get locked up, my sentence is suspended, nor was it to visit one of the inmates.
It was quite boring really, I had a meeting there, in the Midlands.
When I say 'quite boring', actually mean really fucking boring.
To make it even worse I am going to another prison on Thursday, this time in Scotland.
It's like a pub crawl, but with prisons.
And no beer.
And miles from home.
And miles apart, in different countries even.
And without your mates.
Still, off to London tomorrow.
The big smoke.
I thought that, what with all the driving I've been doing recently, I would treat myself and catch the train.
No driving, only an hour and 45 minutes travel and I could do a bit of work on the way.
ONE HUNDRED AND ONE FUCKING POUNDS AND FIFTY BASTARD PENCE return.
Thieving gypsy bastards.
At least Robin Hood had the decency to wear a mask.
Or was it a hood?
Robin Mask doesn't have the same ring to it really.
Anyway, safe to say I shall be driving again tomorrow.
I feel like the car is a part of me, I just have to work out which part.
Costa coffee outlets in service stations apologise for not accepting Costa coffee reward cards.
You ain't sorry, you cunts, if you were that bothered you would get it sorted out.
If I didn't hate Starbucks so much I would go there.
I keep getting reminders from Tesco telling me I haven't spent my Clubcard vouchers.
YOU HAVEN'T SENT THEM TO ME, YOU COCKS.
I seem to be shouting a lot tonight.
They must know I haven't received them cause they keep showing up on my receipts.
I've got about 45000 now.
It's the same with Nectar points.
I keep saving them but I never spend them.
Still it's something to leave in my will I suppose.
"Local Man Dies, Children Loyalty Millionaires Overnight"
Anyone nicks that idea and I'll hunt them down.