Well it's a Thursday already and I'm on the train heading into London.
It only seems like yesterday that I was on the train heading home. Probably because it was.
When you get on a train and the journey is going to last from 0623hrs until 0812hrs, one thing you don't want is for two pricks to get on at Grantham and talk about Chicken and Mushroom pies for rest of the bastard trip.
I couldn't really give a fuck if it caused consternation at Marks & Spencer, nor do I care if some twat in the office called James has a better phone than you.
Who the fuck invented contact lenses?
Who the fuck thought to themselves, "I'm weary of these cumbersome spectacles resting on my nose, I shall devise some small pieces of plastic to push into my eyes".
Oh, and it ain't hard to put your phone into "vibrate only" mode either. It's on the bastard table in front of you and it lights up every time something happens.
I don't need to hear your fucking annoying tone everytime you get a LinkedIn notification.
How do you make a Mushroom Risotto 'contemporary'?
Fucked if I know, but that's what they are talking about now. Something to do with Pecorino.
One of them reminds me a little of that twat Ricky Gervais, both in looks and annoyingness.
Maybe it is him, this could be a sketch from one of his shitty shows and it's just as unfunny.
Maybe it's being filmed right now.
There would be some irony there, me filmed in the background of a crappy Ricky Gervais shitty show blogging about how shit Ricky Gervais' shows are.
More on contact lenses later, maybe.............
Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.