I was on the DLR one day last week, in fact I was on the DLR four days last week and it was this week (or this last week) so I'll start again.
When I was on the DLR this week just gone, there was this bloke standing near me.
Big tall bloke he was, probably about six foot five, however that's irrelevant so I'll not mention it, and he was messing about on his phone. So engrossed he was that every time the train pulled away he nearly fell over. In fact, every time the train braked he nearly fell over. Same thing happened when the train went round a corner. Or over a bump. He nearly fell over a lot. He was like a drunkard, a right drunken bum. All he had to do was hold onto one of the fucking handles, but no; he had to mess with his phone.
It made me wonder what was so friggin important that he couldn't bear to stop using his phone with two hands. Important work related emails maybe (he was dressed like he had an office job), illicit text messages to a secret slutty lover perchance, keeping contact with estranged kids?
No. The fucking wanker was playing American Football. Not even proper football but the yank version where they go out all padded up like pubescent teenage girls on a first date.
Twat nearly took the whole carriage out with his indiscriminate lurching.
I was glad to get off intact.
Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.